The truth is, up until now I've approached my camera as a magical box. I see something, I point the magic box in its general direction, move the focus-things around and push the magic button. Sometimes I tell the box what to do and it complies. More often than not, happy accidents abound.
The truth is, self-taught is one thing, and not knowing how to work the buttons on your camera is quite another...so I enrolled in a weekend course to remind myself what an f-stop is. All thanks to
Street Level Photoworks for being super welcoming and to
Alicia Bruce for being really encouraging and teaching me about the aforementioned f-stop (and many other things I really needed to know). I look forward to the penny dropping.
The truth is, I am also a chancer. If you've hired me to do something/given me an opportunity, I've made it clear that I have no idea what I'm doing, but also that I'm confident that I can make amazing photos for you. I have a magic box, after all. Thanks for believing me. I'm crazy thankful for the past year and for all the opportunities that have been knocking on my proverbial door--especially to
Cully for being my personal cheerleader and making a 35 year old untrained mum-of-five feel like a valid artist.
The final confession is melodramatic. It's that I love photography. Not like I love Twin Peaks or wearing scarves... I love it like I love my children. I can't
really talk about it without sounding mentally unbalanced. I can only relate it to that feeling of seeing a fat baby and wanting to squeeze it or 'eat it up.' It's too amazing to distance myself from. I want to consume it. I want to cry when I take a photograph I love and I've spent many sleepless nights wrapped up in the agony of it all.
Confession time is over.
Here's hoping that my camera becomes a bit more biddable in the future whilst retaining its magic tricks.